You can send me whatever you want, have no fear; there are no weird forms to fill in, no complicated questionnaire, no interview like this one:
Make a film that goes something like this…..
Man looking exceptionally like me walks into office, woman looking exceptionally like me looks up from computer and says, “Please take a seat.” I sit. “Mr. Jenkins will see you now.” I rise.
Mr Jenkins is Welsh and looks exceptionally like me but with a big bushy moustache, or maybe something bordering on Mexican….which would be American, Guatemalan or Belizean……obviously.
Mr. Jenkins says, “Alright my boy! What can I do you for?”
“Umm, I’m here for the job interview for which you requested my attendance.”
“Well done, good start, tea? MISS HEALTHYCOMPLEXION!!!” he boomed to the receptionist whose name I’ll change; she totters in with a tray. She’s got Jenkins’ moustache on her face. I look perplexed. I look to Jenkins who is without ‘tache. Miss H puts tray on desk. I look, she is without ‘tache. I look to Jenkins – no ‘tache. I look down at my lip, I’m wearing the ‘tache. I jump. Jenkins picks it up from the tray and sticks it to his face. This works much better in my head. End of interview.
Here it is look, with a few amendments:
So don’t worry there won’t be some silly game of musical moustaches…but there will be a silly game of give me your organism so I can do shit with it, and maybe it’ll turn into something cool, or exciting, or even – heaven forefend – organised and systematic……end transmission.