I want your clothes, your boots, and your lifecycles

You can send me whatever you want, have no fear; there are no weird forms to fill in, no complicated questionnaire, no interview like this one:

Make a film that goes something like this…..

Man looking exceptionally like me walks into office, woman looking exceptionally like me looks up from computer and says, “Please take a seat.” I sit. “Mr. Jenkins will see you now.” I rise.

Mr Jenkins is Welsh and looks exceptionally like me but with a big bushy moustache, or maybe something bordering on Mexican….which would be American, Guatemalan or Belizean……obviously.

Mr. Jenkins says, “Alright my boy! What can I do you for?”

“Umm, I’m here for the job interview for which you requested my attendance.”

“Well done, good start, tea? MISS HEALTHYCOMPLEXION!!!” he boomed to the receptionist whose name I’ll change; she totters in with a tray. She’s got Jenkins’ moustache on her face. I look perplexed. I look to Jenkins who is without ‘tache. Miss H puts tray on desk. I look, she is without ‘tache. I look to Jenkins – no ‘tache. I look down at my lip, I’m wearing the ‘tache. I jump. Jenkins picks it up from the tray and sticks it to his face. This works much better in my head. End of interview.

Here it is look, with a few amendments:


So don’t worry there won’t be some silly game of musical moustaches…but there will be a silly game of give me your organism so I can do shit with it, and maybe it’ll turn into something cool, or exciting, or even – heaven forefend – organised and systematic……end transmission.


66 thoughts on “I want your clothes, your boots, and your lifecycles

  1. I actually want to see this movie, in grainy black and white, though, with the streaky elements in it that you see in film clips that are meant to imitate old silent movies. MissHealthyComplexion had that pale, pale face only seen in silent movies from lots of Max Factor PanCake makeup.

          • The blogger one comment upstairs from mine… I would love to see what you would do with some of his writing that he put together from an artwork of mine. I had a go at a video and …
            hehe… “…”
            If you want to laugh at my skills I will post you a link. πŸ˜‰

            • Ah, that is who I assumed you meant, and I didn’t check that it was his comment thread you were commenting on; his stuff is great, and his comments are up there with the best!
              I’d love to know what he did and what you did; link away!

            • Well……you must have words with this nervous video and tell it to get itself out there for all to see! This is brilliant; this is one of the main things that blogging is all about – as far as I’m concerned – finding some random person on the other side of the globe to do a thing with! I made a plasticine figure of one of Arthur’s aliens from his book – am I sounding enough like his stalker yet? – http://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/pictures-of-aliens-from-my-book/ if you scroll down, it’s the one leaning against a glass of beer!
              Here’s where he was first introduced https://theseedsaidso.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/for-arthur-at-last/
              And now I’ve turned this into something about me! In all seriousness though Singleton’s story and your film are great…and your laughter is hilarious; I’m going to go make comments on everything now.

            • You certainly did go make comments on everything, Everywhere, and not yet a Saloon in sight! So yooou are the one who made the alien – I liked it.
              I wish I had found where they stock stripey plasticine when I was a kid……. must be expensive, right? Stripey plasticine…. well I never….

            • You made it yourself!?? (Swoon…)
              ((Bursts into hysterical laughter)) Of course there is a market! Imagine the people flocking to buy stripey blue and yellow plasticine! Especially if they can “print it out” on one of those 3D printers… No-one wants to do anything except lift a little finger to “click” something these days. If you made the stripey plasticine pre-made in an alien shape, it would probably sell even better! πŸ˜‰

            • Oh, that *was* a little ambiguous wasn’t it!?
              I don’t know if I can measure your correct dimension of gorgeousness as yet, having only heard a heavily disguised accent and a video of you all in black on a dark night…

            • What are you insinuating? (Actually I don’t want to know)
              Silly me, I saw your face, I didn’t put the face to the name/s! So that’s you? Sort of black mustachio’d man with gingerish longish hair and an awesome sense of humour with the buddings of a creative genius about to be loosed upon the unsuspecting world? I suppose you have secret stashes of unreleased Sandbeasties cached in hordes around your home…. Let it out, Seed! Let it all out! (giggle)

            • That’s me…kind of…the mustache is actually fake, I drew that on in pixlr (other online photo manipulation software is available); your computer screen colours are off, no ginger I’m afraid, except for the odd spattering in my whiskers; the rest is all true…apart from the Sandbeasties stashed around my home; I actually live in one.

            • Noooo…. surely not a fake moustache???? Noooo…. never…!
              Hmm… so your site really is purple and not yellow? (Makes note to check colour management on laptop).
              You are definitely the coolest… living in a Sandbeastie! Now I am jealous!

            • By the way, I am touched about the sarcasm comment, I really am not a master of sarcasm in my humble opinion. I was aiming at blindly enthusiastic over-optimism πŸ™‚

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